It feels bad when someone looks down on you. And it feels so fucking hurt when a whole group of people look down on you. I felt that just now, deeply. It's just like a dagger rubbed with salt, I am still feeling it now.

I know I can be someone better, it's just that I am experiencing the down side of my life. But what can I say? FACE IT LEE PEI, this is the fucking reality you are in! I am struggling, and I don't need you people to stab me from the back, telling me that I am lousy!

Asywaq asked me, why am I always teasing myself, saying myself lousy and stuff. Her words are just like a lighting that struck my head; yea! because I don't know how to love myself, and that allows people to tease, look down, etc... on me! But you know why I always tease myself first? because, I had enough of those fucking teasing shitz, I thought these could make me feel better, or maybe feel more numb about reality.

No wonder noone loves you, because you don't love yourself.

And now tell me, how to love myself? I am trying to be happy, through the help of those pills. But, how long can I rely on them?

Dear Mr. President from Pink becomes my choice of emo song